Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Shadow

Shadow's B-Movie Graveyard

Recommended Posts

I added more self-involved trappings to the Graveyard.

First up: BLOG...cuz everyone has one and I hate being the only sad git out in the rain.

Next up: The Guestbook, for those who may wish to leave a brief thought or two on the mess I call a site.

And let's not forget the obligatory 2005 Year in Review article.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There is also a new Frappr Map for anyone who wants to add themselves.

Plus...

It was a dark and stormy night. Well, scratch that. It was a dark night. Old and decrepit Pete Jenson (who looks like he went to high school with Moses) grabs one of his goats, hauls it into his rundown shack, slits it’s throat and then uses the poor creature’s blood in a satanic ritual - no, not a Republican fundraiser, but something else. It seems old Pete has made a deal with the Devil. Too bad part of the deal requires him to DIE! Pete drops dead right then and there.

No sooner is Pete dead and buried than a stranger waltzes into the the town of Furnace Flats. His name is Nick Richards and he happens to be the nephew of the late, not-so-great Pete Jenson. Sheriff Tom Fuller informs Nick that his uncle was not very well liked and then together with Doc Lucas, they hit Nick up for money to cover the old fart’s burial expenses. Nick then takes up residence in his uncle’s shack and soon meets up with more of the local yokels, including Doc Lucas’ daughter, Nell Lucas. She’s is something of a cutie…if the June Cleaver look is what gets you hot and bothered. Unfortunately for you and Nick, she is already engaged to David Simpson, the local greasy monkey…er…service station owner.

Things now take a sinister turn. I’d settle for interesting, but we get sinister instead. Using the same goatskin that featured so heavily in Pete Jenson’s dealings with the devil (and which shows off his sloppily hand written contract with said party) Nick deploys his own black magic mojo and possesses David Simpson’s German Shephard from the safety of his inherited shack. He has the dog rip David a new one – scar that is, before poor Dave is forced to club his own pet to death with a heavy urn. Now sporting some dorky bandages that cover a nasty scar, David begins to sulk and push others away from him. Things seem to get better when Doc Lucas calls in an old buddy who excels at plastic surgery…but more of Nick’s black magic causes an accident and the guy is killed before he even makes it to town, his car colliding with a possessed cow. Then Papers the town drunk, after “comedic’ run-ins with the Sheriff and local café owner Ida, stumbles upon Nick’s big secret: he is actually Pete Jenson himself, resurrected in a new, younger body and now with fifty percent more likability and fifty percent less old man smell. Of course, Nick/Pete cannot allow his secret to get out, and thus transforms into a horse, proceeding to chase after Papers and stomp him to death…but not before Papers manages to write something in the dirt with his hand.

While all of this is going on, David is getting more and more grumpy all the time – with a script this bland, I’d react the same as him. Nick is using the circumstances to get closer to Nell while subtlely pushing her further apart from David with his comments. Sheriff Fuller and Doc Lucas are doing their best detective impersonations to figure out why there have been so many deaths and odd accidents recently, but they really seem obsessed with Nick’s ability to not sweat a drop in the blistering heat. Finally, the Sheriff plays on a couple of hunches he has (one based on Paper’s last hand-scrawled message in the dirt) and things come to a head on the night Nick decides to shapeshift into a snake and get rid of David once and for all. Will the others puzzle things out in time to save him? Who will get the girl? In the end, who will be revealed as The Devil’s Partner – Nick, Pete…or the writer of this film?

Yes, it's the filmed in 1958 but not released until 1962 epic The Devil's Partner

devilspartner024.jpg

Hey moron! Pentagrams have five sides, not six!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I added a Poster Shop, so if anyone feels the need to buy a poster, please do it through me! :no:

Any chance of getting any of those crappy B-movie sci-fi flicks from the 50s? Those posters RULED!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The Italians just loved zombie movies way back in the early 80's. Too bad they never made a really good one. Most were like The Nights of Terror AKA Burial Ground: A group of pathetically stupid people are trapped in a country villa when ancient Etruscan zombies return to life and seek to make a meal of them, exhibiting far more intelligence than the living folks in the process.

commentary1.jpg

http://www.bmoviegraveyard.com/reviews/BurialGround/

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What ... what was that!? Aaagh, I feel the need to scrub my brain after just reading that. And you named all the zombies!?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

New movie time. This time it's the 1958 mess, War of the Colossal Beast, the sequel to The Amazing Colossal Man. This time, the giant Glen Manning is found living in Mexico, now sporting a hideous cycloptic look. He is brought back to L.A. were all manner of excitement ensues. Ok, it doesn't, but I had to say something.

commentary3.jpg

Lessons imparted by this film:

  • In Mexico, Police officers have the authority to enter any hospital room they like.
  • Some rivers are a mile deep in places.
  • Sixty-foot giants are suckers for a truck loaded with hoagies.
  • Responsibility for giant men does not fall under the purview of any government authority or department.
  • Seventy-foot mattresses are quite easy to procure.
  • “Wavy lines” is a common technical term in the world of medicine.
  • Amnesia is best treated with slide shows and loud yelling.
  • Its possible to escape one’s captivity despite 24/7 surveillance.
  • Sixty-foot giants are masters of the Ninja-like ability to vanish into their surroundings.
  • Electricity can disintegrate you within seconds, given enough juice

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Man, your reviews are very detailed. :yeah:

This film reminds me of another film with a lot of 'physical activity', where Earth is destroyed, a few survivors on a spaceship aided by aliens travel to a new world to restart the human race, but only two humans make it alive. Unfortunately i can't remember the name of the film, just as well i suppose. :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×